Hourglass

Did the ‘O’ Levels end only slightly over two weeks ago? It seems a terribly long long time ago. I’m beginning to forget the process of it- not that I want a repeat of it. But that doesn’t happen, does it? All too soon, we’ll be back in the vicious cycle of studying, studying, studying.

I’m hoping that graduating from CHIJ SNGS and leaving to go to the next school will give me a more well-rounded approach of education. I’ll be doing the IB.

We’ll see if I can rise to the challenge

GRADUATION NIGHT 2008

Just like that, Graduation Night for Class of 2008 is over. I had a great time and I’m sure everyone else did too Photos are being edited and will be put up on Facebook soon.

Yikes, what am I going to do now? Since the end of the ‘O’ Levels, my mind’s been pretty stagnant considering the sudden drop in academic stress. Now, I don’t even have to rush to school in the morning for Exco meetings. We’ve officially graduated.

We, Yellow Badge going to school
Doing our part to make the teachers happy
Like we always do
And we, always thinking of you
AMath, EMath, Physics, Bio, History
All the work we do
And we’ll bring these pleasant memories with us
But all I want to do
Is to spend this last night singing along with you

THE BEST GRAD NIGHT EVER!

IT’S GRAD NIGHT TOMORROW! ALL THE WAY, EXCO WE CAN DO IT. WE’LL PULL THIS OFF EXCELLENTLY, AS WE ALWAYS DO!

(I’ll miss all of you, yeah.)

WHY

DO YOU ASSUME THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE WITH ME? WHY DO YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD DO EXACTLY AS YOU SAY? NEVER ASKING FOR MY OPINION, NEVER REALLY BOTHERING ABOUT WHAT I WANT, NEVER REALLY CARING THAT I MIGHT LIKE TO HAVE A SAY IN A FEW THINGS, ESPECIALLY BLOODY IMPORTANT THINGS LIKE _____. YOU ALWAYS DECIDE. ALWAYS YOU DECIDING. I’M HEADSTRONG? NO, I ONLY WANT YOU TO ASK ME WHAT I THINK. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? SEEMS LIKE IT IS, RIGHT? I NEVER GET TO SAY ANYTHING AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE. DON’T YOU NOTICE? PERHAPS YOU DON’T. YEAH, PERHAPS.

ONE DAY, YOU KNOW, I’M GOING TO EXPLODE.

Music

You’ve got to be a genius to be a songwriter. Because I am not a genius, it’s really quite hard to think of lyrics. Or perhaps thinking of lyrics is harder than writing a song because we’re now working within the constraints, the barriers of the song that’s been laid out in front of us. (it’s a secret, what we’re working on)

I thank all the musicians out there who produce beautiful lyrics and music for the rest of the not-so-talented world out there to enjoy :D Thank you for possessing such creative juices, thank you for sharing your genius with us, thank you for the music.  

*

It’s Exco’s last assignment so we’re going to do it damn well (as we always have) and we’ll celebrate the end with a big, beautiful bang. We’ve learnt from our mistakes, endured the scoldings, grumbled over hassles and messes, but we’ve ridden on the highs of our successes many more times, we’ve put in our best, we’ve become more than just a group of people given the chance to lead.

I’m glad to be in the Exco and I sure am proud of where we are today

Friday the 14th

Prize presentation ceremony in the morning today, which was followed by the 2nd Student Council Investiture. Let me just say that I am proud of our successors- Alison and the entire Exco. Organisation of the investiture was good and everything ran smoothly. (Our dances were better, though ) I also understand now, however, how the Red-Badge Exco felt when they weren’t informed about the merging of the PMB into a Student Council, just like us now, who were unaware that the lower secondary monitorial board will be merged with the Council.

But it doesn’t really concern us anymore, right? Our last only concern is Graduation Night..

* * *

Eunice and I then had a pleasant lunch for 2 hours at J8, the better part of which we spent recounting the different episodes of Mr Bean that we’ve watched. It was nice, very lighthearted and enjoyable. We laughed at each other spewing crumbs of apple crumble all over the table and made silly faces and imitations. As we were walking to the MRT, an Old Auntie beckoned me over to help her stand up. She was sitting on a stool.

“I’ve got high blood pressure, I can’t stand up by myself, could you give me a hand?” she asked in Mandarin.

I must’ve looked a little wary because the next thing she said was, “Don’t be scared, I only need you to help me a little here.”

So I reached over and took her hand.

At that moment, Lydia came over. She bought $2 worth of tissue paper from the auntie. Eunice bought $1. I didn’t only because I didn’t have small change.

The three of us spoke to the auntie for a minute or two. She told us that she was living alone, and that apart from high blood pressure, she had cancer, heart disease and poor eyesight. The auntie was also rather overweight. We asked her if she went to the doctor.

And the safety pin that she must have used in place of a button on her shirt had come undone, which Lydia pointed out. She pinned it back.

Auntie then put her stool on top of the trolley of tissues she was pushing, and made off in the opposite direction. We told her to take care.

Lydia also bought more tissue from another lady standing close by, who was blind.

It really touched me, it really did.

But it pains me even more because I am helpless when it comes to helping people like Old Auntie.

What love?

NO MORE ‘O’s!

TRYING TO GET IT INTO MY HEAD THAT THE ‘O’ LEVELS ARE OVER, YES, REALLY OVER. NO MORE ‘O’ LEVELS! NO MORE ‘O’ LEVELS! NO MORE ‘O’ LEVELS.

x9857436796 times

Does anyone want my textbooks? ASK ME FOR THEM DON’T BE STUPID AND WASTE MONEY BUYING THEM! I’m giving them away!

NO MORE ‘O’ LEVELS.

It came to me that today is 13 November… and that 13 January is exactly 2 months away. It’s coming soon.

Got to be in school by 7am tomorrow for the award presentation ceremony/Investiture. And everybody is skipping school tomorrow. Darn. Okay I gotta sleep. Extremely tired. 

“fatigue accumulation”

Just Because

Tessa shall not think of the future, but focus on the present. The present is a thing to treasure. 

She’s got a great life- great family, great friends, an education, a home, a heart.

She’s got music to sing to and hands to write in beautiful scrawls, and feet to tap along to the beat with.

“time to breathe and time to live”

Back, Somewhat.

Only two more papers to go before the end of the O’levels. It is strange, but I am finding it rather hard to believe that all these years of studying I have put in for this major exam have come to an end. No more having to worry about Nick Bottom the weaver, or about how to do Integration, or how to write an English report. No more of it. Ever again. It’s difficult to decide if it’s something to be happy about. The four years in SN are ending, they really are.

I wish I treasured them more.

I’ll do a quiz so I won’t continue posting about stuff that I don’t like to think about.

01. What have you been doing recently?
Studying, studying, studying.

02. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
I used to, until I realised it was rather inconvenient to turn it on every morning and realise I left the house forgetting to bring something along.

03. What happened at 10.00am today?
I was sleeping. Students who’ve recently been studying too much need their sleep.

04. When did you last cry?
Sometime this week. But it was only a tear of two. Does that count?

05. Believe in fate/destiny?
A little.

06. What do you want in your life right now?
8 points, more time in SN, to forge better relationships with my family and friends, to read more books, to go back in time. To love more. To forgive more.
Y’know what, I want too many things.

07. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
I run in the rain and then laugh at myself looking like a wet chicken.

08. What’s your favourite thing to have on your bed?
I need my blanket.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
uh..shorts?

10. What’s the nicest text in your inbox say?
I’ve kept all the texts that are nice in their own way.
Those wishing me all the best for the O’levels, for example. Thank you.

11. Do you tend to make a relationship complicated?
I suppose I do.
I’m complicated.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
No.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
I’ve been studying. My head’s filled with academic facts and nothing else. To conclude, I can’t remember because I haven’t caught one in ages.

14. What are you proud of?
All the right things I should be.

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
One that dates back to 5th June from Christine, telling me to get something back from Australia for her

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
“…Jeremiah was a bullfrog”

17. Do you have any nicknames?
Yeah. Many.

18. What does your last received text message say?
STOP ASKING ABOUT MY MESSAGES, YOU SUCKER.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
In the wee hours of the morning…

20. Are you currently happy?
I suppose I’ve got reason to be.

21. Who gives you best advice?
It depends. My parents, I guess?

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
I think I’ll prefer eating it with strawberries.

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Mum.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yeah…something always is.

25. What/who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Stedman. He does gay stuff sometimes.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
No.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
Mum.

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
That’ll come in time…

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Whining, dishonesty and two-facedness, to name a few.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
-blushes-

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
Never have, never will.

32. What is the colour of your room?
Untouched, pristine white.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollars?
I’ll like the money without the killing, thank you very much.

34. Do you believe in the saying: talk is cheap?
No. Who hasn’t been touched or inspired in some way by a speech, or a song?

35. Who was the last person to lie in your bed?
Me, myself and I.

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
I can’t remember. (which means I haven’t been hugged all that recently…sigh)

37. Did anyone see the last person you kissed?
Haha…my parents? (it was my sister I kissed. And that was wayyyyyy back, okay? I don’t even remember it)

38. Do you have a life?
Yeah, but it kinda pauses when I have to answer these intruding questions…

39. Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn’t die?
I don’t ever wish to do such a thing.

40. What is the reason behind your profile song?
Don’t have a profile song.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Eunice? Well, I only heard her screaming “I CAME OUT FIRST! ME FIRST!” actually. (We were having a bathing competition in my dream.)

42. Last time you smiled?
Well, today.

43. Have you changed this year?
Very much, indeed.

44. What are you listening to right now?
The sounds from the TV.

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Nope.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Open, all the time. I don’t like falling into drains unlike some people.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
There are several, actually.

48. Do you want someone you cannot have?
Perhaps that’ll happen in the future.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Yeah, but not like I excel in doing so.

50. What was the worst idea you’ve had in this week?
Answering the Prose question in the Literature paper? Stupid Andy and the Royals.

51. What are you doing last night at 11pm?
Bathing?

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
It’s currently non-existent.

53. What song best describe your love life?
I’ll tell you next time.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
Enough about my love life?

55. Who always make you laugh?
Family, as well as friends. And because I’ve been studying, and everyone knows that studying too much makes you a little wonky, I’ve been laughing at people that aren’t funny too.

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Mandarin. Oh yeah, Singlish.

57. Favourite website(s)?
Don’t have one.

58. What’s your middle name?
Don’t have one either. Unless you’re asking for my Chinese name?

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
QUANTUM OF SOLACE! Shopping at the Club 21 bazaar again, maybe?
…Doing Chem/Bio MCQ practices.

60. What do you think you are like?
I told you, complicated.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
Family. Loved ones. Yeah.

62. Where have you been today?
Kusu Island and the Club 21 bazaar.

63. What game do you play often?
I’ve been studying, remember?

64. Who are you missing right now?
Many people. But we’ll get to meet soon, it’s okay.

65. If you have to choose between friend and love, who will you choose?
I’ll like to have both.

66. What are you doing right now?
Wasting my time with this stupid quiz! Well at least it’s stopping me from typing lengthy, boring posts.

67. Which primary school are you from?
Coral Primary, in the humble suburb of Pasir Ris.

68. Name 3 colours that you like?
Green, orange, red.

69. What emotion you like to show?
Huh, I dunno.

70. What is your life to you?
The most important thing I could ever have. What is anything else worth if you don’t have your life?

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Talk about it. Think a lot more about it. That’s what I do.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
Friends I’ve been missing.

73. Who do you admire most?
Quite a few people.

74. Which month are you born in?
August!

75. How are you feeling right now?
A little depressed, yeah.

76. What is the time now?
1:17am.
No wonder I’m depressed.

77. What kind of person do u think the one who tagged you is?
(what horrible English) She’s complicated also, I would say.

78.What colour did you use to dye hair?
I haven’t dyed it yet.

79. Why are you doing this test?
I thought I explained why already…!

80. What do you do when you’re moody?
…Think about it.

81. At which age you wish to get married?
Before I’m 30.
I don’t want to be an old spinster.

82. Who is more important to you?
As compared to who?
(see, what horrible English)

83. If today is the last day of your life, what will you do?
Thank my parents, family and friends for giving me the best life I could ever have and tell them I love them.

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
Does it matter if I trust people already?

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
Yeah, because most of the time, I do.

86. If you have a dream come true, what would it be?
That I would have a bathing competition?
And this time, I would bathe faster than Eunice?

87. What is your goal for this year?
The time for making goals is over.
The time to play starts soon.

88.Do you believe in eternal love?
Well yeah, sappy as it might seem, I think I do.

89. What feeling do you love most?
Being loved, and loving.

90. Do you really think its Global Warming now?
That’s not a proper question, is it? But yes, the Earth’s heating up due to the _________ gases trapping the ____ under the _____ layer. Chemistry, eh?

91. What feeling do you hate most?
The feeling of hurt and pain.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Need you ask?

93. Do you believe in God?
Yes.

94. Who cares for you most?
Those who do.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
There are just too many to name…

96. What will you bring when you fight?
My…courage?

97. What have you done regretted doing in your whole life?
Not going to disclose here.

98. What would you feel if no one no longer cares for you?
It really depends on that someone.

100. How do you feel now?
That it’s time to log off.

Goodnight, and goodbye. Time to log off.

See you again, soon.

Life’s Not A Story

“And I guess that’s where the fairytale ends.”

Today we had our last Mission in SN, by Father Simon and all the team. Tears fell again, as they had in Sec 2 and 3. Today’s impactful story was by Auntie Cecilia. To us, it’s a story that we hear and we shed tears over and we think about for awhile. But because it didn’t happen to us, we forget. But to someone else, it’s real. It happened. I am always touched and inspired by these people.

Everybody has their own painful secrets. And everybody needs to find some way to mend.

Sometimes I wonder why I am here on this Earth, why some are born poor, why people kill, why things happen, why feelings change, why the world has colours, why we suffer pain and in the end, why we leave. It’s not a book you open to read. It’s a book you open to write in, for others to read.